I don’t talk about certain people in my life very often, or at all, because every time I do drama rears its ugly head. No parent has a harder life than that of a step-parent. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Whatever you do, think, or say isn’t good enough for the other parent. You’re told that your opinions don’t matter. You become a living, breathing target. You’re always under scrutiny even when you don’t know it. Your online accounts are stalked. Your Twitter post venting about something gets reposted elsewhere in a high-and-mighty fashion as a poor attempt to make you look bad. You work just as hard as any other parent to care and love and provide for a child that isn’t even your own. Its easy to pop out a kid and love it immediately and unconditionally. It takes real courage and strength to open your heart up to one that you didn’t give birth to.

This is how I’ve had to live my life ever since Sean and I started dating. It was a whole different world, dating someone with a kid, that became even more complicated when Mikael moved in with us permanently. With no kids of my own I had no idea how to be a mother, let alone having to deal with all the ugly drama that came along with Sean’s ex. It was a really steep learning curve. I made mistakes. But I learned. I grew. Mikael became a huge part of my life, though it hasn’t been without its drama, its tears, or pain.

But life as I know it is changing. Mikael is moving 2 hours away and going to school where his mom lives. There’s a lot of drama around the whole thing and it’s not what Sean or I want. Its hard. And it sucks. And the whole thing is really quite ridiculous.

But that’s life, I guess. God has a plan and His reasons. And, as usual, down the road I’ll look back and see the big picture and it will all make sense. I’ll be able to look at each shift and change and see how each piece of the puzzle fit together. God is awesome like that. I used to consider things coincidences… that it just so happened that a particular item we really needed turned up just when we needed it… and for clearance/cheap/free on top of it. But it has been God all the way!  So… however this whole thing turns out… I know and trust that there’s a reason and a plan behind it.

Philippians 4:6-7
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT)

Posted on Thursday, July 29th, 2010 at 10:31 pm in Around The House   |  RSS feed |  Respond  |  Trackback URL